Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Pharaoh's Haven is a place filled with miracles. It is a place that witnesses amazing gifts from God each and every day. Recently we were the recipient of an amazing miracle. Our oldest dog, Samson is 17. In the picture he is one looking at me instead of the camera- so typical. He has been with us since the age of 14. When he arrived here, he was very thin, anemic, covered in fleas, and I expected him to live at the most a few months. 14 is pretty old for a Greyhound, so I took this dog in knowing whatever time he had left we would give to him with great joy, comfort, and love. He quickly became my "soul dog". If you've ever had that one great dog in your life, you know what I am talking about. He is the epitome of all that is amazing in dogs and desirable in humans. He is gentle, kind, patient, long suffering, honest, and has the soul of a Southern gentleman. That is the way I describe him to people, since most people need a "human comparison" to understand a dog's soul. His first three days here after a bath to remove more than 100 fleas, he did nothing except sleep, eat, and go outside to go potty. I honestly thought we was going to die then. After three days, he got up with this new look in his eyes like, " Ok, I am back- what's on the agenda?" He loved to run in the pasture with the other dogs and was pretty darn fast for an old man.
After a couple of years, I noticed that his back leg was causing him pain, especially on rainy days and in the morning. I have arthritis and have the same symptoms on the same days so I knew right away what it was. I took him to see our dear vet, Renee Rockefeller at Augustine Loretto Animal Clinic and she examined him and said, " He has a very crunchy knee, Anne." Turns out that the back left knee was so filled with arthritis that is sounded crunchy when she manipulated it. So I said, " What can we do?" She recommended Deramaxx (doggie Celebrex) and we went home. The medicine worked wonders for the old man- he could bear weight on that leg again and his appetite improved. He wasn't tearing out in the pasture anymore, but that was ok- he could walk without pain. After about a year, he started to not respond to the meds as well and his appetite would come and go and he would spend all his day on the couch (it's HIS COUCH) and not want to interact or go on walks. We went to the beach last week and left him in the care of our zoo sitter, whose name is Betty and who is God's gift to our family. She is an amazingly gentle and intuitive woman who is the best zoo sitter we have ever had in 15 years. When I got home on Saturday, Sam was far away- he greeted me of course, and then got on the couch and slept. He wouldn't eat that night or all day Sunday. His eyes had the "death look" that all animals get when they are near death and it's a look I've seen MANY TIMES. People get the same look - they look past you to somewhere far away and they are not "here" if that makes any sense. I knew it was time. I cried so much on Sunday that I busted the blood vessels under my eyes, and thought I would die from the pain. Now, mind you, I have put at least 6 old dogs to sleep here, many of them dogs we'd had since puppyhood, so it's nothing new to me- I take them to ALAC and hold them while Renee puts them out of their pain. I cry and it's sad but when I leave I feel relieved that my dear dog is out of pain and in doggie heaven. I have never mourned this hard over any dog, and it was quite frightening for me to feel such intense sadness even though I knew it was time.
I called Renee on Sunday, sobbing my guts out. She said, " It's Sam, isn't it?" I said, " Yes, it's time." I told her, " I feel a very strong feeling that he is not to leave here, so I need you to come to the house and put him to sleep when it fits in your schedule." She assured me she would call me the next day with a time. All that afternoon I sobbed on this sweet dog's fur and told him how much I loved him and what a dear dog he was to us. Jon dug his grave outside before work on Sunday. The kids said goodbye in their way- the tears would come after he was gone- they don't mourn in advance, bless their hearts. I gave Sam his meds as usual Sunday as I thought, " I don't want him in pain anyway even if he is going to die." On Monday, he hopped off the couch and came in the kitchen and ate breakfast. I am thinking, " That's nice, but weird." All during the day, he was up and out, asking me for bones that he hasn't asked for in a year, and very frisky. I was freaking out. Renee called at noon on Monday and said, " How is 11:30 tomorrow for you?" I said, " Renee, I need to talk to you. He's like a different dog." I went on to tell her about his appetite, behavior, and walking around and even running in the yard. She said, " Well that's great news!" So we said, " The grave is there, and we'll just keep it covered until it's time." (We had covered it anyway to keep the little dogs from falling in it.) On Monday and Tuesday I did not recognize Sam. I took him on a short walk down our street and he ran ahead of me. He hasn't done that in over a year. Even our dear friend Mercedes said, " Anne, he hasn't looked this good in MONTHS!" So I knew it wasn't wishful thinking on my part. Sooooooooo, maybe God gave us an extension because of the horrible sadness, or maybe Sam saw the grave and thought, " Wait guys, I am just sore, not ready for the grave yet!!!" Either way, I said out loud to God while walking with Sam- (trying to keep up with him to be honest) "God, I don't know why you gave us this gift, but I thank you and I praise you for it- I truly thank you for giving us a few more days or months with this amazing dog." So I sing Sam his silly song that I have sung to him since his first days here- I can't write it or everyone would laugh at me because is is a truly silly song but part of it is " I love Sam and Sam loves ME!" I am grateful that I get to sing that silly song a while longer.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Well, I was really surprised to get a call from the vet that has my number for squirrel rescue! Nesting season is April and August, and we've not had a single windy storm in while. There were four newborn squirrels- someone was trimming a tree and down the nest fell. We got them quickly and they were in great shape- not dehydrated or injured. There were two girls and 2 boys. On the first night, Lily, one of the girls, crawled under the heating pad and died- I've never had one do that before-the other three have been with us for almost two weeks and they are doing great! They are up to almost four cc's of formula every 2-3 hours and their eyes should be opening soon. Their names are Sammy, Squirt, and Emma. Emma is the smallest, but a very good eater. We are taking them to the beach with us and I am FREAKING OUT because I have to leave them with someone for four days while we fly to NM and I am super protective of them- when you have worked your fanny off to keep a squirrel alive for 2 weeks, getting up every 2 hours in the night, you really freak about leaving them with someone else. Here are their pics. God is so amazing- they are tiny, precious, and love humans. They do not make good pets and will be released at my mom's house when it's time. People ask me all the time why we don't keep one and it's because squirrels are not one of God's creatures that can adapt WELL to caged life. If they are injured or brain damaged, that is a different story, but if they are healthy, they don't do well in captivity, so please don't be tempted to keep one- it's also against the law ( I think). In the meantime, we are enjoying them and I am finally at the point where they can go overnight without a feeding- Jon feeds them at midnight and I am up at 5 am normally, so they eat again then.
I often use them as an example of our dependence on God, and even took them to a women's Bible study (not these guys- one from a hurricane years ago) to show the ladies that without God feeding us, keeping us clean, and stroking us, we would die, just like these squirrels. And unlike humans and God, squirrels never run away from the humans caring for them, but instead move toward my voice- the hungrier they are the faster they move. Sometimes in their eagerness to eat, they get frantic and I have to gently hold their head and show them where the syringe of milk is. God's like that too- we get all freaked out and God has to get our heads and hold us down for a minute and say, " I've got what you need- quit flipping out." I really need to remember that right now as we have two vacations coming up and getting ready for vacations is a HUGE trigger for me and my bipolar depression. I am fine once I am in the car or plane but the week beforehand, I get totally wigged out, frantically all over the place and sadly, I don't look for the the "syringe" of comfort that God is holding right in front of me- I just keep running all over, trying to figure it out on my own. Maybe there was a bigger reason that I got this group of squirrels at an unusual time- I need to remember them when I get paralyzed with so much to do. I am constantly amazed at how God teaches me through these animals- never fails and since I understand animals so much, I learn about God all the time. (Not to say I don't learn about him other places too, but face it, I am here at home more than I am any other place.) I'll post more pics when their eyes open, which should be within this next week. :) So exciting for them to see whose voices they have been hearing. By the way, Julianna is a super squirrel girl- she fills in for me when I am sick or gone and she does an AMAZING JOB.