Tuesday, April 13, 2010

For my brother and everyone who loved Bucky

As I laid in bed this morning, my mind was still reeling from the news of one of my brother's oldest and dearest friend's suicide. I have hurt for my brother and his buddies who all grew up together here in Mandarin. Bucky was known as Bucky to all of us, his given name was Walter Woolfe Jr. Most of my memories of him are from my childhood and teenage years- he spent a lot of time at our house and I spent a lot of time at his house with my folks and brother and sister. I remember a tall, handsome man with dark curly hair and a mustache most of the time. He gave real hugs and always took time to talk to me even though I was just Mike's "kid sister". He never made me feel like he didn't have time for me and in later life on the few occasions I saw him as an adult, I was always OVERJOYED to see him and give him a hug and he always asked about my folks, my kids, etc. He and his brother had a monkey and a mean as snot Chihuahua named Timothy. :) I loved both of them. I loved his parents- Kay used to sit me on her lap and read me stories- one in particular that I cannot remember the whole title of, " The Hag, the Bag and..................." I was always begging her to read it to me and she always did. I did feel true love from Walter and Kay- Walter would always swoop me up and hug me like I was the most special little girl in the world and I loved him very much. I have such vivid memories of Bucky and Carey's room (you had to step down into their little room and it felt like a cool little hideout place) and the way the house was laid out and I learned to swim in their pool- my sister taught me and I spent many happy hours there.
Bucky always looked right at you when he talked to you- he gave you the feeling that you mattered. I loved him like a brother. My mom always welcomed my brother and sister's and my friends to the house and it was always such fun when he and John would come. I hadn't seen Bucky for 7 or 8 years, but he was one of those people you always hoped you would run into sometime at the pharmacy or somewhere in Mandarin. I wanted to write this for Mike, Billy, Mark, John, Chip, and all the other guys and people who loved Bucky and were his childhood and adulthood friends. I know you are hurting and I wish I could hug each of you. I really do. I will write his ex- wife and children a note and send it by snail mail- they are in such pain. So many people are hurting- I hope all of us can heal and that Bucky can see us and hear us and know he was very very loved and is very dearly missed. The thought that keeps me going on the days I am crying so hard is that he and his birth family are all together (that's my personal belief) and that there is finally peace there. Vicky, if someone forwards this to you, I love you and our family would do anything for you - ANYTHING. His memorial is tentatively scheduled for the weekend of April 24 at Mandarin Park. We love you Bucky.