It's December and I am on blood pressure meds- coincidence or not????

Well there is one type of medicine I never thought I would be on and damned if I aren't on it- blood pressure meds. It makes perfect sense- I have gained 20 pounds on my bipolar 2 meds and I have been pretty stressed out lately, but ME?????????????? So, now I have the hard work of getting these "Seroquel 20 " off- (it has a nickname because it is SO COMMON) and trying to find a "natural remedy " for high blood pressure. Mercedes, girl, I need your advice. I can't find my camera (one of my kids "borrowed' it) and I don't have time to take any pictures of my darlings. We just changed hard drives, so all my pics are on my OTHER hard drive which is upstairs.

But, I have decided this- I love Jesus, but I hate December. I hear Christmas music on November 27 and my jaw clenches. I want Christmas to be about a peaceful manger, not shopping and mailing and pressure and CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR 30 STRAIGHT DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if there was a month that I would have high blood pressure, this would be the month. Thank goodness the animals don't know what month it is, because if Pepper started whistling Christmas Carols in this house before December 9 (my 43rd birthday), his goose would be cooked. (He's a parrot, by the way). So my way of coping this year is I am not sending Christmas cards with pics of my beautiful girls. I figure every mom deserves at least 3 Christmases when she doesn't have to send cards, and this is my first. (I think it's my first, did I skip a year 10 years ago???????????) Don't remember. I am determined to make this a quiet and peaceful Christmas and since I don't like shopping or going to the mall, I think I can do it. I'll stay home and make our little manger and not get freaked out by the huge trees with all silver or all gold decorations or the signs saying, " There's still time for Christmas delivery!" (Well, there should be, when you sent that catalog, it was December FIRST!) And no, I am not a grinch, I am just a Jesus follower, and the last time I checked, Jesus got THREE presents and much after his birth. What in the world has happened to that simple message? I am claiming it this year, even if I have to stick my fingers in my ears and say, " Nah nah nah I can't hear you!" in stores. :)

Samson should be named Lazarus

Pharaoh's Haven is a place filled with miracles. It is a place that witnesses amazing gifts from God each and every day. Recently we were the recipient of an amazing miracle. Our oldest dog, Samson is 17. In the picture he is one looking at me instead of the camera- so typical. He has been with us since the age of 14. When he arrived here, he was very thin, anemic, covered in fleas, and I expected him to live at the most a few months. 14 is pretty old for a Greyhound, so I took this dog in knowing whatever time he had left we would give to him with great joy, comfort, and love. He quickly became my "soul dog". If you've ever had that one great dog in your life, you know what I am talking about. He is the epitome of all that is amazing in dogs and desirable in humans. He is gentle, kind, patient, long suffering, honest, and has the soul of a Southern gentleman. That is the way I describe him to people, since most people need a "human comparison" to understand a dog's soul. His first three days here after a bath to remove more than 100 fleas, he did nothing except sleep, eat, and go outside to go potty. I honestly thought we was going to die then. After three days, he got up with this new look in his eyes like, " Ok, I am back- what's on the agenda?" He loved to run in the pasture with the other dogs and was pretty darn fast for an old man.

After a couple of years, I noticed that his back leg was causing him pain, especially on rainy days and in the morning. I have arthritis and have the same symptoms on the same days so I knew right away what it was. I took him to see our dear vet, Renee Rockefeller at Augustine Loretto Animal Clinic and she examined him and said, " He has a very crunchy knee, Anne." Turns out that the back left knee was so filled with arthritis that is sounded crunchy when she manipulated it. So I said, " What can we do?" She recommended Deramaxx (doggie Celebrex) and we went home. The medicine worked wonders for the old man- he could bear weight on that leg again and his appetite improved. He wasn't tearing out in the pasture anymore, but that was ok- he could walk without pain. After about a year, he started to not respond to the meds as well and his appetite would come and go and he would spend all his day on the couch (it's HIS COUCH) and not want to interact or go on walks. We went to the beach last week and left him in the care of our zoo sitter, whose name is Betty and who is God's gift to our family. She is an amazingly gentle and intuitive woman who is the best zoo sitter we have ever had in 15 years. When I got home on Saturday, Sam was far away- he greeted me of course, and then got on the couch and slept. He wouldn't eat that night or all day Sunday. His eyes had the "death look" that all animals get when they are near death and it's a look I've seen MANY TIMES. People get the same look - they look past you to somewhere far away and they are not "here" if that makes any sense. I knew it was time. I cried so much on Sunday that I busted the blood vessels under my eyes, and thought I would die from the pain. Now, mind you, I have put at least 6 old dogs to sleep here, many of them dogs we'd had since puppyhood, so it's nothing new to me- I take them to ALAC and hold them while Renee puts them out of their pain. I cry and it's sad but when I leave I feel relieved that my dear dog is out of pain and in doggie heaven. I have never mourned this hard over any dog, and it was quite frightening for me to feel such intense sadness even though I knew it was time.

I called Renee on Sunday, sobbing my guts out. She said, " It's Sam, isn't it?" I said, " Yes, it's time." I told her, " I feel a very strong feeling that he is not to leave here, so I need you to come to the house and put him to sleep when it fits in your schedule." She assured me she would call me the next day with a time. All that afternoon I sobbed on this sweet dog's fur and told him how much I loved him and what a dear dog he was to us. Jon dug his grave outside before work on Sunday. The kids said goodbye in their way- the tears would come after he was gone- they don't mourn in advance, bless their hearts. I gave Sam his meds as usual Sunday as I thought, " I don't want him in pain anyway even if he is going to die." On Monday, he hopped off the couch and came in the kitchen and ate breakfast. I am thinking, " That's nice, but weird." All during the day, he was up and out, asking me for bones that he hasn't asked for in a year, and very frisky. I was freaking out. Renee called at noon on Monday and said, " How is 11:30 tomorrow for you?" I said, " Renee, I need to talk to you. He's like a different dog." I went on to tell her about his appetite, behavior, and walking around and even running in the yard. She said, " Well that's great news!" So we said, " The grave is there, and we'll just keep it covered until it's time." (We had covered it anyway to keep the little dogs from falling in it.) On Monday and Tuesday I did not recognize Sam. I took him on a short walk down our street and he ran ahead of me. He hasn't done that in over a year. Even our dear friend Mercedes said, " Anne, he hasn't looked this good in MONTHS!" So I knew it wasn't wishful thinking on my part. Sooooooooo, maybe God gave us an extension because of the horrible sadness, or maybe Sam saw the grave and thought, " Wait guys, I am just sore, not ready for the grave yet!!!" Either way, I said out loud to God while walking with Sam- (trying to keep up with him to be honest) "God, I don't know why you gave us this gift, but I thank you and I praise you for it- I truly thank you for giving us a few more days or months with this amazing dog." So I sing Sam his silly song that I have sung to him since his first days here- I can't write it or everyone would laugh at me because is is a truly silly song but part of it is " I love Sam and Sam loves ME!" I am grateful that I get to sing that silly song a while longer.

New batch of squirrels here!!

Well, I was really surprised to get a call from the vet that has my number for squirrel rescue! Nesting season is April and August, and we've not had a single windy storm in while. There were four newborn squirrels- someone was trimming a tree and down the nest fell. We got them quickly and they were in great shape- not dehydrated or injured. There were two girls and 2 boys. On the first night, Lily, one of the girls, crawled under the heating pad and died- I've never had one do that before-the other three have been with us for almost two weeks and they are doing great! They are up to almost four cc's of formula every 2-3 hours and their eyes should be opening soon. Their names are Sammy, Squirt, and Emma. Emma is the smallest, but a very good eater. We are taking them to the beach with us and I am FREAKING OUT because I have to leave them with someone for four days while we fly to NM and I am super protective of them- when you have worked your fanny off to keep a squirrel alive for 2 weeks, getting up every 2 hours in the night, you really freak about leaving them with someone else. Here are their pics. God is so amazing- they are tiny, precious, and love humans. They do not make good pets and will be released at my mom's house when it's time. People ask me all the time why we don't keep one and it's because squirrels are not one of God's creatures that can adapt WELL to caged life. If they are injured or brain damaged, that is a different story, but if they are healthy, they don't do well in captivity, so please don't be tempted to keep one- it's also against the law ( I think). In the meantime, we are enjoying them and I am finally at the point where they can go overnight without a feeding- Jon feeds them at midnight and I am up at 5 am normally, so they eat again then.

I often use them as an example of our dependence on God, and even took them to a women's Bible study (not these guys- one from a hurricane years ago) to show the ladies that without God feeding us, keeping us clean, and stroking us, we would die, just like these squirrels. And unlike humans and God, squirrels never run away from the humans caring for them, but instead move toward my voice- the hungrier they are the faster they move. Sometimes in their eagerness to eat, they get frantic and I have to gently hold their head and show them where the syringe of milk is. God's like that too- we get all freaked out and God has to get our heads and hold us down for a minute and say, " I've got what you need- quit flipping out." I really need to remember that right now as we have two vacations coming up and getting ready for vacations is a HUGE trigger for me and my bipolar depression. I am fine once I am in the car or plane but the week beforehand, I get totally wigged out, frantically all over the place and sadly, I don't look for the the "syringe" of comfort that God is holding right in front of me- I just keep running all over, trying to figure it out on my own. Maybe there was a bigger reason that I got this group of squirrels at an unusual time- I need to remember them when I get paralyzed with so much to do. I am constantly amazed at how God teaches me through these animals- never fails and since I understand animals so much, I learn about God all the time. (Not to say I don't learn about him other places too, but face it, I am here at home more than I am any other place.) I'll post more pics when their eyes open, which should be within this next week. :) So exciting for them to see whose voices they have been hearing. By the way, Julianna is a super squirrel girl- she fills in for me when I am sick or gone and she does an AMAZING JOB.

The zookeeper's Mother's Day gifts!

When you take care of two children, a home, and some 30 animals, you had better think long and hard about what you ask for when Mother's Day comes up. At first I thought about luxury- how nice it would be to have someone else file my nails and rub my feet and put pretty polish on them. That idea got thrown out as I realized that the polish would last maybe 3 days on my hands, with all the washing I do, and my toes never show, because I wear running shoes 24/7, literally. So, I thought about what would truly make life easier. And my dear husband surprised me and did it before I could ask. While I was out with Em, Jon cleaned my upstairs room/office. You see, Miss Gracie Rose had found the Crayola Clay in four lovely colors and had taken her sweet time in getting into each color, leaving clay and paper EVERYWHERE. It was more than I could deal with, so for two weeks I ignored it. Yes, I know, you are wondering HOW I could ignore it. Well, I don't go up there except to sleep once in a while, and I stepped over it and went to bed. There were also various items in the upstairs hallway that needed to go to the battered women's shelter store but had gotten stuck in the hall, just waiting. When I got home, the hall was CLEAR and my room was CLEAN. I could have cried. In addition, he helped me trim 9 sets of dog toenails, 4 beaks and 12 parrot toes. This is no small feat, if you pardon the pun. Then, to finish it off, when our disposal died, he called a friend and installed a new disposal and the instruction manual was my Mother's Day card and I LOVED IT!!! I told my children that all I wanted from them was to sit on the floor and play some games together and be a team about getting the birds fed and watered. I got two lovely homemade cards which are two of the most beautiful ones I have EVER GOTTEN and I felt so loved and special. I love being a mother- I am blessed with two gorgeous and lovely acting girls, a very thoughtful husband and 30 other "children" that are worth all the trouble they put me through. :) One good nose kiss or bed snuggle from a dog is enough to make my day, ANY DAY. And enthusiastic hugs from my girls are the best gifts I could ever get from them. I am a blessed woman. Thank you Lord, for my family, my own mothers, and for my life.

For Donna

My dear friend Donna who blogs like a fiend bugged me about my recent lack of writing. I don't know why I haven't written, I just haven't. Nothing amazing or spiritual or even amusing has happened until last night. Pepper, our African Grey put on a show last night like we have never seen. Pepper was rescued from a sad home that was dark and from someone who didn't believe cleaning the cages was HER job and he had very little interaction. We've had him almost two years and we think we are seeing him almost at full blossom just now. (Bird rehab much slower than dogs.) She (we don't know if he's a he or she's a she so bear with me- we refer to him/her in both ways all the time.) has a vast repetoire of voices and sounds and words. Here are a few of his favorites. "Good girl!" (He says this whenever a dog comes in as we have had to praise Maggie SO MUCH for coming in as she used to be terrified of thresholds.) "Good night Pepper bird" "Goodbye" "Hello" "Wanna go out?" (Again in regards to the dogs), "Woo HOOO"- heard by me all the time as my kids can't hear me over their stinking radios unless I use the grandma yell. Well last night he cracked us up. He loves to dance with me- which for him consists of him bobbing his head and saying Hoo hooohoooo." Last night I snapped my fingers and he started "cracking" his beak while dancing, and then he made a PLLLLLLLLLBBBBBBBBBBBB! sound like a kid sticking out his tongue and blowing- and then he burped and started laughing. It was a LOUD BURP. We were all just dying laughing - he has finally relaxed enough to open up and show his true colors. He still won't allow us to touch anything but his head and his feet, but I think in another 10 years we'll be able to cuddle him. Good thing they live so long.