I don't know how many more deaths I can take. On the left is a picture of two of our cats, Bella on the left and Cookie on the right. Cookie died Wednesday of heartworms. Yes, it is very rare in cats and no, we had no idea he was sick. I saw him under my van, which is a place he never goes and I knew INSTANTLY something was wrong. I called Jon and we brought our dear Cookie Monster in the house and I knew he was going to die. After doing rescue for so long, there is a smell of death that lingers on an animal when they are dying- that sounds bizarre and hard to believe, but even my kids know that smell when we used to get very sick squirrels. I begged Jon to take him in, as I knew I could not take this particular cat. You see, Cookie is a very special baby to me. Several years ago, our neighbor's dog killed my kitty Moses in our front yard- he didn't actually die until we we at the ER vet, but it was a horrible traumatic death. I never go out and get a new animal when one dies but a sudden traumatic death is like a scene from a movie that won't go away. So the girls and I went to Animal Care and Control and I saw Cookie and I knew he was the kitty. He hated thunderstorms and I always let him inside during them. I had a premonition that he should be an inside cat, but we have allergies and I just attributed my over protectiveness of him to the fact that Moses had been killed outside. He was killed by a disease that mosquitoes carry. Dr Rockefeller, my vet saviour called me from her office and said, " Anne, honey, it's not good." I said, " I know, Renee, I know he's going to die, he smelled like death, but WHAT IS IT??" She told me and said, " He's going down fast." I said, " Put him down now." She was so dear and asked if we wanted his body which was the most beautiful cat body in the world, with the most remarkable markings on it, but I told her through my sobs, " I cannot see his face again, I will just die, Renee." She said, " I know, I am the same way." And she said she would take care of my baby for me. I asked her if she would tell him I loved him and I was so sorry and she said, " Of course." "I'm so sorry, Anne, I am so sorry." I said thank you and hung up and held on to Jon. He was our Cookie Monster, Cookie Conker, Tootie (rhymes with cookie) Tonter and so many other little pet names. When people know you have seven cats, their reaction to the death of one is either, " Oh, that's too bad". or there are dear souls like Dale who weep with you because they know that each one is as special as the rest, no matter how many creatures you have. Thank you Renee and Dale and to all my friends who texted me to tell me how sorry they were about our baby Cookie. (He was six years old but always my baby.) Renee, when you get to heaven, God will put a special jewel in your crown shaped like a paw and say, " You will never know what comfort you gave Anne Trinkle by sending her animals to me so sweetly and with such love and empathy." I love you.
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